Harry Potter and the Potions Textbook
by Dakota Severus
Summary: Harry Potter mourns Severus Snape after the Battle of Hogwarts.


" _Things have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always the way we expect." –_ _Luna Lovegoo_ _d from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_

 _A/N: A prequel chapter to my fanfiction Unexpected Fate. It also stands alone quite well. I have been absolutely busy being a mom of two. (I started my Unexpected Fate fanfiction before I was a mom! But the plot bunny has never left my mind and I finally had time to write it out. Sorry about it being so late).  
_

 **Harry Potter and the Potions Textbook**

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

The day that he ultimately defeated Tom Riddle was not a day of joy for Harry Potter. It was a sorrowful and painful day. A day that he wasn't sure he could ever live past. A day that everyone lost so many friends and family.

It was the day he knew his heart broke.

He had finally found a moment to slip away after he destroyed the elder wand. A moment to quietly walk back to the Shrieking Shack. His heart was still pounding. His ears seemed to have lost all ability to hear beyond the pulsing of blood. Walking toward Severus Snape's dead corpse was not something he wanted to do. It was scary in a way that walking to his death was not. But, he couldn't just leave him laying there for just anyone to find.

Or for anyone to forget...

Harry's breath catches in his throat when he finally sees him again. And his eyes would never forget the sight.

It was Hermione who found him a few hours later.

"It's all my fault." Harry whispered to her while never looking up. Hermione didn't speak. She just took his hand into hers and brushed some of his unruly hair from his eyes. Harry knew she'd be able to see the tear tracks on his face and the puffiness around his eyes, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered. He just continued to cling to Snape's body. Hermione never once tried to move him. She just sat quietly beside him.

Another hour later, Ron and Mrs. Weasley found them. Harry reluctantly released Snape's body and cried into Mrs. Weasley's bosom. "I know, dear. I know. We'll take good care of him." She said softly. Harry nodded blindly through his tears.

 _It is all my fault._

 _It is all my fault._

 _It is all my fault._

 _It is all my fault..._

From that day on time seemed to creep by in an endless haze. Harry Potter felt numb when he wasn't crying. When he was crying he felt like he didn't deserve a second chance when so many good wizards and witches had died. Life was an endless cycle of sorrow.

After the funerals, Harry found himself locked up in Grimmauld's Place. He had no desire to leave or to do anything. Sirius' bed had become his haven. Ginny had took it upon herself to care for him since there was no schooling while Hogwarts was under reconstruction. They hadn't gotten back together. Harry had barely spoken two words to anyone. The only consolation Ginny received was that sometimes parts of the meals she left on the food trays would disappear.

That was before the raven arrived.

About three months after the Battle of Hogwarts, a large raven appeared at Grimmauld's Place. It carried a large cotton bound parcel addressed to Harry Potter. Ginny left the package on the nightstand without a word. Harry had his back turned toward her and was looking at some shadow on the far wall. He never acknowledged anyone those days.

It was later than day when Harry noticed the parcel. It was carefully wrapped and very plain. He almost set it aside along with all the other mail and packages he had received when he noticed the inscription. More precisely, he noticed the handwriting.

Harry felt his heart pound for the first time in so long. "But... he's dead..." He whispered to himself, his voice horse from lack of use. His hands were shaking as he picked up the parcel and ran his fingers over the material. He gingerly unwrapped it, slowly revealing a book.

Not just any book. A rare potions book. Harry caressed it tenderly, and felt the tears well up in his eyes. Opening the cover, he found a parchment leaflet:

 _Dear Mister Potter,_

 _I did not expect to survive the War. Unfortunately, I do not expect the same for you either. There are some things you must know before you can defeat the Dark Lord. There are things that Headmaster Dumbledore neglected to share. According to his wishes, this information was to be shared only when the time was right. If this missive has reached you, then I have been unable to divulge this information in a timely manner before my death. It was to be delivered only upon my death and upon you still being alive. Only by your touch could these words appear. I do apologize for any inconveniences this has caused you and yours._

 _According to Headmaster Dumbledore, the Dark Lord created a seventh Horcrux without intent the night he murdered your family. I am truly sorry, but the connection you have with the Dark Lord is an unfortunate side effect of having part of his soul within your scar. The only way to destroy this Horcrux is for the Dark Lord to destroy it himself. You have to willing go to your death to destroy it._

 _I know that I am the last person you would ever trust._

 _I was a friend of your mother growing up. She has always been the most important person to me. I would have done anything for her. I lost her trust and friendship by an inexcusable mistake, but I never stop loving her. I swore on her death that I would protect you. I will not stop doing that even in death._

 _I bid you good luck with your affairs, and I apologize for not being able to save your life this one last time. If you ever need my knowledge or my assistance, I have attached my personal potion text. I recall how much you learned the last time you were in possession of a textbook of mine. Please, beware. This book is more powerful than you'll ever know._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _S.S._

Harry felt the ache in his chest expand. He looked at the heavy tome and ran his fingers across the leather bound cover. How surreal it felt. Was he really holding one of Snape's beloved textbooks? Harry felt cheated in a way. A book. A bloody book was all he had left of his mean professor. At the same moment, Harry felt he couldn't breathe. He quickly clutched the book to his chest. It was all he had. It was all he would ever have.

From that day on Harry was entranced with the book. He no longer just stared off into space. He read the book over and over. He cherished every small inscription, every blemish on the pages, the smell, the small scrap of notes slipped inbetween the pages here and there. It didn't seem to be any more complex than the Half Blood Prince's textbook. It was a seventh year textbook. All the potions had been perfected by Severus Snape. He had a few margins with experimental spell work scattered about. Nothing about it seemed powerful, but to Harry the book meant the world to him.

About six weeks after Harry received the book, Ginny broke down. "Harry, please, please look at me!" She had cried. Harry couldn't look at her. He closed his eyes tightly against the world while at the same time fingering the "Property of the Half-Blood Prince" inscription that was neatly written inside the book's cover. "I can't live like this! This house is like a tomb! It's like you've given up and are dead already! Get up, Harry Potter! Please!" When he refused to acknowledge her, Ginny became furious. She picked up a vase and threw it at the wall above Harry's bed. It shattered, raining pieces of glass everywhere. "I want to live! I won't stay here another moment, you bastard!"

Ginny left Grimmauld's Place moments later.

Harry was left alone. Mrs. Black was screaming, but Harry blocked out her voice. He looked down at his book. His hand had flecks of blood where some of the glass had fallen on him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't even move to clean up the glass in his bed. He just laid there and closed his eyes again.

He didn't deserve to live while so many had died.

It was all his fault.

Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One had finally decided he was going to give up. He had been ready the moment he walked into the Forbidden Forest during the Battle of Hogwarts. He had already accepted that he wasn't going to live past Voldemort. It was just an accident that he was still here. He sat up and held the textbook in his arms as he cried.

"I'm so sorry, Professor! I'm sorry that I didn't trust you! I'm sorry that you lost your life because of me! I miss everyone.. Remus and Tonks.. Sirius.. Fred.. Cedric.. Collen.. you. Why did I have to live while you died? It should have been me!" Great tears welled up in Harry eyes.

 _"We'll always be with you.."_ a ghostly voice echoed in Harry's mind.

Harry laid back, embracing the book to his chest. He closed his eyes, he was giving up.

The longer Harry laid there, the heavier the book felt.

When the hunger started in, he felt like the book would crush him, but he couldn't let go of it. He needed Snape for this.

Days passed with Harry in and out of consciousness. He didn't know how long it had been but he felt so weak. He closed his eyes again, hoping that he would not awaken again. It was then that the book started vibrating in his arms. Harry looked down at it, shaking and glowing a vivid green. "I've finally lost it.." Harry slurred as the book kept glowing brighter and brighter. The light grew larger and completely covered Harry's body.

Just as suddenly as the light grew it dissipated. Harry felt like his body was suddenly being crushed. Harry couldn't breathe.

Severus Snape was laying on top of him.

"Mister Potter." Snape said. He took in his surroundings and then leveled a glare at Harry. Harry himself had his jaw hanging open and couldn't take his eyes off of his professor. "Why am I here?"

"Y-yo.. y.. dead.." Harry said hoarsely. "Dead.."

"Dead?" Snape sat up, ignoring his state of nudity and noticed the book laying on Harry's chest. "I see. So I died." He said more to himself. Harry nodded, unable to move. Snape looked back at Harry sharply. "You... are doing what exactly?"

"Um.. " Harry shook his head. How could he admit to Severus Snape that he was trying to die? His plan was to waste away, but suddenly Harry felt embarrassment. This man had given his life for him and he was giving that life up. "I can't-"

"It's not complete." Severus Snape suddenly whispered. "The spell is not complete. What spell were you using to resurrect my Horcrux?"

Horcrux?

"I wasn't-"

"Your lifeforce?" Snape barked. "Is that why you look like death turned over? You're just going to lay here and die while the Dark Lord takes over?" Harry shook his head. Snape didn't know. "I did not give up my entire life to protect a selfish brat like yourself so you could just give up!" Snape looked down and noticed the shards of glass around them. He grabbed a large piece and then yanked up Harry's arm.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, suddenly terrified. Snape didn't answer, he just quickly sliced a long cut down Harry arm. Blood welled up and cascaded down his arm in gushes. Harry suddenly felt faint. Snape had come back to kill him! He couldn't even begin to understand why Snape was lapping up his blood. Harry eyes rolled back into his head and he moaned. His head felt like it was on fire and everything felt like it was spinning. The world was turning and he couldn't find anything to hold on tight to. And then darkness came. Cold and quiet darkness.

Harry Potter woke up. The ceiling above him was white and looked exactly like the ceiling in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. "Am I dead?" Harry asked. Everything was white just like the King's Platform. But then his white ceiling was suddenly being obscured by lots of black. Severus Snape was staring at him with a blank face. Harry sat up quickly, shocked to his core. "Professor!"

"Potter."

"Harry!" Snape was pushed aside by Hermione, her eyes puffing from crying. She flung herself at Harry and hugged him tightly. Then there was Ginny and Ron and the Weasley's. But Harry couldn't take his eyes off of Severus Snape who stared right back.

"How are you here?" he felt himself asking.

"Horcrux." Snape said softly.

"You made a Horcrux?" Harry couldn't believe it. "When?"

"Albus had suggested it. He was already dying and knew that if I were to kill him my status as a Death Eater would be solid. Killing him ripped my soul apart. He knew it would. He said that it could be a great resource if things were to go wrong."

"That's horrible!" Hermione exclaimed.

"War is not a time of pleasantries." Snape replied.

"You gave me your Horcrux?" Harry couldn't believe it. "But how? How did you come back?" Snape walked around the bed and crouched down. He was practically nose to nose with the Chosen One.

"Usually resurrecting a Horcrux requires a Dark spell or potion. I did inscribe one such potion inside that book under another name. Unfortunately, you, Mister Potter, chose to be reckless and do things in a unique and idiotic way. As you laid there and gave up your life force, my Horcrux soaked it up. If you had died, it would have been perfect. You are lucky I was able to get there and save your worthless ass in time. I drained you of almost all your blood to complete the resurrection process and then I was able to bring you here on the brink of death." Snape's eyes looked angry. Around him the room was quiet, no one knew what to say. Harry didn't look at them though. He still was processing that Snape had come back. He was standing there. Flesh and blood. He had come back! He had-

Harry reached up and hugged Snape. "You're back!" The Dungeon Bat almost jumped from his skin at being hugged.

"Release me at once!" Snape growled, but Harry had buried his face in the crook of his neck and was crying.

"You're back!" Harry whispered, happiness filling his entire being. "You're alive! You're here! You're back!"

Indeed, Severus Snape was back.

 _The End_


End file.
